Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize