The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
