I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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