CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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