Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
