If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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