I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
