do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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