i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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