since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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