It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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