the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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