Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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