Redeem this text for a blowjob
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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