Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
