Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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