I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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