Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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