it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
