I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
