ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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