Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
