Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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