I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
