yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
