wanna go halves on a baby?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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