i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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