i just wanna soil my oats bro
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
