Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
FUCK WHALES
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
