The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize