she was so not down for the gang bang
This girl is more easily done than said...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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