Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
someone owes me an orgasm
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
