I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
