I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
