Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
