It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
