i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
4 words: hood of his car
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
