A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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