Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
