If i come over, it means nothing
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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