Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
soo... how was my night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
