Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
