it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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