never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
