on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
