dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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