go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
