but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
