Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize