Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
