did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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