I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
