i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
