You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
