I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
