i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
