can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize