i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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