Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
no you cant smoke seaweed
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
