hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
