I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
