I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize