I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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