We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
