That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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