i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
