his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
