Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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